Sweetbreads’ “Punisher of Love” Wants You to Know: You Are Good.

In Conversation with Sweetbreads on Her Debut Album

BY: Calli Ferguson

Photo by Sandy Honig

Listening to Sweetbreads’ debut album, Punisher of Love, you might feel the stickier or more complicated pieces of yourself reflected in clever lyrics through 8 indie-twang tracks. But somehow, it’s presented to us in a way that doesn’t suggest a need to be ‘fixed’ or even bent into some prettier point of view. On this album, we are given a space for all of those relatable pieces to just be, and a reminder that in the end, even when it’s all laid bare: you are good.

That feeling of gentle patience, belief, and acceptance for oneself is something Sweetbreads singer/songwriter, Melody Stolpp, grew into during the years she spent bringing the project to life. “Through the process of making the record, I learned so much about holding space for myself…” she told warmly during our Q&A just days before Punisher of Love’s release, “…and actually admitting that I have something to say.” We dove into how the creative journey of making the album unfolded alongside a personal one, the Sweetbreads musical universe, and much more in our conversation. Here’s how it went…

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warmly: You’re releasing your debut album in three days… Congratulations!

Sweetbreads: Yes! It was two years in the making.

So take us back to where it started. How did you start writing this album? 

Well, there's one song that's pretty old that I kind of was saving for a record. I put out two EPs before this, and I was sitting on a body of work that I was saving for a record. I love what I did with my two EPs, but I wanted to go in a different direction with these songs that I was being precious about. I'm a very anxious person, so I was really scared about undertaking a whole album and the cost of it and everything. 

I was putting the thought out into the universe, trying to make a plan, and ended up playing a house show with the person who would be my producer, Quinn Devlin. I met him in Greenpoint for the show. It was a big open loft space, and I [decided to] sing without a mic. And I guess I made an impression on Quinn. And he made an impression on me. I love his album, and I thought maybe this is the person I should talk to about going in this other direction. He gets the indie twang vibe that I was going for– before it was a little more alt rock. That was when I started being like, “Okay, I'm gonna do this collection of songs.”

I wrote most of them in the past four years, but I wasn't necessarily thinking of them as a full body of work. But looking at it now, all of these songs are kind of about my anxiety. It all came together. I was lucky enough to crowd-fund a portion of it– everyone was so amazing for donating to that. And it really helped me feel like I was doing the right thing. I think I was kind of afraid to take up space. And people really showed up for me, which I really appreciate. And now it's a reality.

Sweetbreads’ Melody Stolpp with producer, Quinn Devlin photo by Sandy Honig

I'm so glad you made it. I'm curious about what it feels like to collect years of songwriting into one project. I'm sure you changed so much throughout that time. So what is that like for you? 

It was crazy. The really old song is called "Ben”-- it’s an unrequited love kind of thing. That was one of the worst periods of my life… I was working a corporate job I really hated. I had bed bugs. I was lovesick over this guy who was lying to me and had a girlfriend. I was kind of an unstable person at that time. 

I guess my songs have always been a way of coping, and trying to figure out how to breathe and make sense of life. It's been interesting to see what themes come up over and over again… But it is cool to look back on it and think about how I was processing different things. My philosophy on life hasn't totally changed, but I’ve definitely gotten more mature. 

I think I've been learning how to be more patient with myself. Through the process of making the record, I learned so much about holding space for myself, and believing in myself, and actually admitting that I have something to say. That was a really big reason why I wasn't committing to making a record before. 

"Open Mic" is one of the songs I wrote more recently, and I'm so proud of that song. I wrote it with my friend Nick around [the time] when his first child was born. I feel so lucky– I don't think it would have come together at the time if he hadn't been in the spot in his life where he was, and I hadn't been in the spot I was in. That whole song is like a weird vortex of all these circumstances coming together to create the thesis. 

So looking back on the work, I'm proud of who I'm becoming. And I still feel like I'm growing. I'm taking my time, and I'm trying to be gentle with myself.

It does feel like there is a lot of “becoming” on the album. And that gets to be a resting place– in the becoming. Your songwriting has that cool thing where you'll have something matter-of-fact followed by something so poetic, and it just wraps you around its finger. How did songwriting come into your life? 

Well, my dad is a musician, but he was always a wedding singer and a club singer. So I had a lot of music in my life forever. My name's Melody– my parents love music. 

But I was really heavily involved in theater for most of my life; I majored in theater. I think that goes with the theme of me not claiming my own life for a really long time. I was sort of passive and trying to be this perfect little actor girl… I spent a lot of my time doing what I was told. 

My senior year of college, there was a songwriting emphasis, and I've always been obsessed with songs. Especially in theater school, I was kind of frustrated because I didn't feel like my friends in theater were into the music I was into. So it was this solitary practice– I would get into indie albums and not really have that many people to talk to about it. Senior year rolled around, and I was feeling really lost because I didn't– you know– I'm not the typical musical theater person. I'm heavier, I'm not the most femme person in the world, and I was feeling really out of place and being like, “Do I even want to do this? Do I constantly want to be auditioning and being told that I'm not enough? That I don't fit into a type?” 

…But when I was having this identity crisis registering for my senior year college classes, I applied late to the [songwriting] program. Kevin Siegfried runs it, and I was a terrible student in his theory classes. I had untreated ADHD, and I was falling asleep in class a lot. I was probably Kevin's least favorite student, and then I applied to his program late with this letter that was just spilling my guts, being like, “I love music so much.” And he took a chance on me and put me in the program! Now we have a great relationship. I'm so indebted to Kevin; he's an amazing educator.

I was kind of forced to start writing songs, and I feel like I'm still like that. I have to have some kind of fake deadline. Many of the songs on this record I wrote in a ‘song a week’ group…

So I started writing songs then, and I really liked it. Then I moved to New York, and I realized I really didn't like auditioning. I started playing open mics, meeting people, and writing more songs. Now that's pretty much my life. Music is my life! I've found such an incredible community, and I love that I have more autonomy in music. It's a really tough industry, of course, but you can be yourself so much more. And if you claim that, then people notice, and they care, and they want to celebrate that.

I love that answer. I think I was expecting you to say you've been writing music since you were young, because it seems so natural. But sometimes, creativity can feel overwhelming without structure and accountability. It’s cool to hear you had the ‘song a week’ group and use the tools that exist to help you use your superpower. 

It's so hard to sit with yourself and actually try to pull something out of your brain and your soul and face it. And I love and hate that about songs: it doesn't come out right away. People talk about how it's sort of like a sculpture. You have to mold it. You're trying to find what you're trying to say. Sometimes that can be a labor of love. And sometimes it can be like, “Oh my god, I just can't get it. This is all wrong.”

But I do think my background in theater has helped me with storytelling and perspective. Even though I wasn't writing songs, I was thinking as characters. One thing in theater is that you try not to judge your character. They probably are doing the best they can, and so I try to approach my songwriting like that. Naturally, when I'm feeling really grumpy, I can be a little critical. I like that songwriting cracks that open for me and I have to ask myself why am I judging that. It helps me feel so much more empathy for people and for myself too.

There’s a lot in this album that feels complicated or shadowy, but it doesn't try to change them. I felt myself reflected in some of those moments, but not in a way that needed to be fixed. Regarding character building, I'm curious how Punisher of Love became your title track? What is a Punisher of Love?

I've started asking people at my shows, “Do you know what a Punisher is?” Because I realize not a lot of people do. But basically the Punisher of Love is a personification of my anxious attachment. 

That was a song that came out in literally 30 minutes. Because you get kicked out of the ‘song a week’ group if you don't submit. So I was like, “I gotta write something.” I remember I was feeling extremely anxious that day, and honestly, weirdly… sorry for myself? I was beating myself up, which was so lame…

My friend Kate Pelkey– I was singing backup in her band at the time–  told me what a “punisher” was, maybe a night or two before. A punisher is kind of a person who overstays their welcome in conversations. It could be a really overeager fan that doesn't get the hint that you want to pack up and go home, or someone at a party that you end up talking to about something that you really don't want to talk about… an energy vampire. The thought “Punisher of Love” came into my head and I was like, "Does that make sense for my anxious attachment?” Because I was feeling really insecure in my relationship at the time. And now I really do think it does. 

I love the way that the verses came together. I love the line about putty in another's hands. Sometimes you write something and you're just like I don't even know where that came from… I feel like that song is me trying to poke fun at my anxious attachment. And it's so energetic, and I get to really belt it out when I do it live. It's this huge release. 

I thought it was just such an evocative title. It also helped that a lot of people were like, "That's a hit!” So those were all the reasons I decided to make it the title track. The chatter in my brain is going all the time, and that is my “Punisher of Love”.

Punisher of Love Album Art by Benn Gabriner- @lifemachine.co

What a cool story. I'm also curious about your cover art for the album and all of its singles.  Who are these little creatures and how are they made?

Yeah! So I did not make them. My friend, Benn, is a boutique toy maker. I love his toys. I love color and strong graphics. So I just asked him if he would be interested in doing that, and he was really down. And so he made them– I think they're made out of resin, and he casts them.

And he photographed them as well. So I sent him the record and was like, "These are gonna be the singles. Make whatever you want.”

He’s really, really talented. His company is called Life Machine Co. 

Amazing. I really like the artist name ‘Sweetbreads’, too. How do you see your musical universe shaping, and how is it reflected in the debut album?

It’s so funny. I really am a very visual person. Color really helps me in my life. I've sort of developed my own style, just out of dopamine dressing. I feel like my aesthetic just in life is psychedelic little old woman who lived in the shoe… so it's pretty easy for me to kind of guide the visuals for my project. I know when something strikes me.

And I'm really lucky to have so many visual art friends. My best friend Victoria Florio is a tattooer and an incredible artist. I met her working at a restaurant in Boston when we were both in school, and I work with her to make my shirts and stuff. We print them in her studio. She has a taste very similar to mine, and obviously, I just get along with her, so it's fun to talk about what we want for the visuals. 

The name Sweetbreads I got from a Andrew Bird song, and I think I heard an NPR interview with him or something a long time ago, where he was like, "sweetbreads are like brains and hearts of animals.” And he wasn't actually right. They're gizzard and different glands, and they mean different things in different cultures. But I really like the name Sweetbreads because all my songs are pretty melodic and they sound very sweet. They're either lullabies or they're really peppy. I like the name Sweetbreads because you think it's donuts and cake, but it's actually like glands, and that's kind of the way I feel about songwriting. I'm always just willfully pulling things out of me and trying to force myself to do it… even though I really like it. 

I think that's the line I like to tread: kind of messy and a little grotesque, a little campy, but also kind of silly and bright. My songs are extremely sincere, but I like matching that with a sort of silly sense of humor.

Very cool. How are you celebrating the release? Do you have shows coming up, or anything you're doing independently?

I'm really excited. November 1, we're going to be playing at Nightclub 101. It's going to be a really great night. I'm really pumped. My family's coming in. I'm going to try to get my dad to sing on the song about my family. So that will be really fun. Lily Too is joining me on that bill. Her music's gorgeous. And then Amelia Jackie is going to be playing a solo set. She's so cool– bluesy, queer, kind of bawdy in her songwriting- I really love it. So it'll be a femme night of music. I would love if everyone came out to that show. That's a big way I'll be celebrating. 

I think I'm also gonna host some kind of Dolly Parton remembrance wig party in October. We might celebrate then too.

And when you send the project out into the world, how do you hope it lives with people, and how do you picture people listening to or being with these songs?

I really hope that people can… Everything's really fucked up right now, right? I do think that radical self-acceptance and listening to and actually confronting yourself is where change starts. And I hope that this album inspires people to look at themselves and be proud of where they've been and what they've become. Everybody goes through a lot. 

“The Anvil” is kind of the big thesis. Sometimes it's really hard to just say, “I'm a good person. I'm doing my best. And I'm surrounded by people that I love. I'm really lucky.” I hope that listening to my album gives people that feeling and helps them say that to themselves.

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